Something You're Not
by StevieKiryuu48
Summary: When ones love feels like it wavering it pays to speak out I suck at summaries ... A bit OOC...or a lot...


A/N: Aaaaand here's another one...my brain just wldn stfu until i posted this one sooooo here it is...

Agin constructive criticism is accepted... Enjoy ^_^

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Something You're Not...

I sat in my cell staring at the three walls, waiting for one of them to let me out 'cause they want to spar. I found myself hoping it would be him. Hoping it would be him so I could speak to him, find out what's bothering him or to pound him for causing me so much heartache. I made myself believe it was the latter. A few more minutes went by before someone came. It was him. He opened the cell door and came in. I stood up, stretched my arms and legs and walked toward him. I tried speaking to him. "Aisuru* I..." he raised his hand to stop me. "Don't call me that." he said bluntly, then turned and walked away. I shrugged and followed him to the training room.

As we walked I let my instincts take over feeling something swishing behind me meaning my tail was there and the twitch on my head, my ears. I was gonna pound him soooo hard. He likes physical pain so that's what he's gonna get. We got to the training area and he sealed the exit. I walked to the far end of the room waiting for him to change into his release form. He didn't. He just shot a cero at my back! As it came closer I backflipped barely escaping it. I landed in a leapfrog position, turned around and smirked at him, "So that's how ya wanna play. Alright then. Game on." With that I lurched forward, acting on raw instinct and anger.

Usually when we spar I feel guilty for wanting to hurt him...but not this time. This time guilt wasn't gonna hold me back. I was gonna make him hurt, I didn't care how much it hurt me after. He shot ceros at me one after the other and I dodged every one of them. When I got close enough I landed a few blows of my own and pulled back before he could attack. And that was how it went until we were both exhausted. He attacks, I dodge and counter-attack and vice versa.

When we were too tired to continue he just walked toward the door. "We're done here." he said. I stood hunched over, with my hands on my knees, catching my breath, staring at his back as he walked away. Without thinking I bolted after him and tackled him to the ground, then picked him up and slammed him against the wall holding him there. "What do you want?" he asked bluntly. I was already pissed and his attitude was just making things worse. I looked him directly in his eyes. "What do I want? I wanna know what I did to make you act this way, what'd I say that's making you try everything you can to hurt me or push me away?" He kept silent and looked away. "Answer me!" I screamed. I felt him flinch when I screamed. "It's not you." he said. "Well if it's not me then what is it?" I pressed. "It's just that I don't have feelings for you anymore."

So predictable. I thought he would have said something like that. He obviously wanted me to believe him so I went with it. "Okay, if that's the case then why are you still in my head? Why don't you leave?" "Because you wouldn't want me to go."

Hahahahahaha. Perfect he's making me the excuse for not leaving. He doesn't realize what a terrible liar he is when it comes to things like this.

"It ain't so. Remember, I told you anytime you want to leave go ahead. Just don't say anything. Now what's the real reason for your attitude?"

He kept silent, just staring at the ground. He so wanted me to believe his lies even though, after observing his behaviour during sparring, I already knew the real reason. "Alright then. You say you don't have feelings for me anymore meaning you don't love me. Right?" He nodded "Prove it. Look me in the eye and say it." The look on his face was priceless. "Do it." I taunted him. "Say the words." He looked me in the eye and said the words. "I don't love you." his voice was shaky. When he was done speaking I grabbed the collar of his jacket, pulled him forward and crushed our lips together. He could have pushed me away, but he didn't, he kissed back.

I pulled back after a while. "Liar." I said stepping away. "You really thought you could lie to me like that? That you could make up some crappy tall tale about not loving me and I would believe you? Pathetic."

He looked at me and, trying to keep his cool, said, "I'm not trying to lie about anything. I said I don't love you and I meant it." I folded my arms. "Then why did you kiss back. You could have pushed me back and walk away. And it would have been easy 'cause I let my guard down." His eyes widened at the realization of this, but he tried to deny...again. "That meant nothing." I smirked and stepped toward him placing my hand on his torso. "You say one thing, but your body says something else." he turned away trying to hold back the blush that threatened to cover his face but failed. "Your hormones betray you." Tomato face, never gets old.

I moved my hand from his chest and caressed his face. "Why aisuru? Why are you trying to be that again?" "Be what?" I placed my other hand over the hole under his neck. "Heartless. A monster. Something you're not." He looks at me. "What are you talking about?" "You know exactly what I'm talking about. And I know why you're acting the way you are." He exhaled heavily, "If you knew then why did you ask me?"

I dropped my hands to my sides. "I wanted to see how much longer you would make yourself believe in lies." He closed his eyes and looked away. I continued... "I didn't break you, nor did I change you Ulquiorra. You changed yourself, you made the choice on your own... I just showed you that you are so much more than what you were becoming and when I saw that you were willing to change I...it...kinda...made me glad...to know that I got through to you."

"But then I realized what you were doing and I tried to back away...but I kept..."

"Coming back. And when you saw that you couldn't leave on your own..."

"I tried to make you push me away. But you didn't...you never did. After all the bullshit I put you through you stayed with me, you saw through my lies and you're the only one who's ever seen me cry. And of lately I've been thinking about all those things and honestly I didn't deserve any of it, I still don't...and...I don't deserve you."

OK ouch. If he didn't hurt when he said that I definitely did. It seems I'll never get one thing through his *ten inch thick skull. There are a lot of things in this life that a lot of us don't deserve. To be honest I don't deserve him either, 'cause I put him through hell too...like a lot. I took his pale hand in mine interlocking our fingers, "Even if you didn't deserve those things, it doesn't mean you don't deserve to be loved." He looked at me a little shocked as if to say 'How could you still say something like that?' but he said nothing, he just looked at me with those enchanting green eyes. I wiped the tears that streamed down his face, "I have told you before and i will say it as many times as I need to for you to understand..., no matter what you say or do to me, nothing can change the fact that i love you."

After a while, he leaned forward and kissed me softly before wrapping his arms around my waist and burying his face in my neck. "I know that. I love you too. I just can't seem to admit it without hurting you." I chuckled, kissed the side of his neck and wrapped my tail and arms around his torso. "Hmm, but you just did."

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End

R&R please ^_^


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